Ever heard of the terrible twos? It is the age when you start seeing that your cute little munchkins put up some funny and should I add annoying behavior it could be so frustrating to you as a parent. Tantrum is one of the main things you see them displaying and their moods, always swinging on a pendulum.
My little boy is there right now and, he is becoming a cute but annoyingly little handful, but am not complaining no I’m not.
You start noticing toddlers tantrum in kids from two years and above. Tantrum is a normal developmental behavior we should expect and prepare for in our kids.
Children of a year and few months, trying to develop communication skills can find it hard to express themselves and it can become frustrating for them.
They can walk now, so they go everywhere even those places that can be hazardous. They want to touch, see and feel everything so they make a mess, spill water, pour food all over, and smear themselves.
And when you want to try to take them out from the mess where they are having fun, they can get angry and start showing a tantrum.
Older toddlers from age three and above are not left out. Being a little independent, they want to try any and everything which of course is impossible.
When you don’t allow it, they feel you are punishing them, and it frustrates them, and the only way to let it out is by having a meltdown.
With their new and growing independence, they also start having an entitlement mentality and it affect their relationship with their peers, parents and even within themselves, they can have conflicts.
These are some of the things our little ones face at this age. While outward tantrums may look like misbehavior or stubbornness, toddler’s tantrums do not always stem from that.
Let us get a clearer picture of what a tantrum is, understanding this gives us clarity on how to deal with toddlers tantrum.
What Is Toddler Tantrum?
A toddler tantrum is a way, a toddler may express his frustration when he can’t get what he wants.
He may want to keep playing outdoor even when it’s getting late and when the parent refuses, it irks him up and he starts throwing a fit, or, he sees a toy car he loves, and because it is way too expensive, you tell him he can’t get it and immediately it causes an outburst of anger and temper tantrum.
What Causes Tantrum?
Children have meltdown and temper because things are not done the way they want or when things don’t go as they planned.
It could be so frustrating for them and most times, the only way they react is by throwing a tantrum. As an adult, you know how frustrating it can be when things are not working for you, sometimes you get angry, irritated, and frustrated.
So you can relate to how it plays for kids. When a child can’t fix maybe a shoelace or play more or have the ice cream he wants, it may seem small but it frustrates them and the best way to respond is by throwing a fit. Most times the tantrum is not always done on purpose to annoy you the parent.
Sometimes when my kid throws toys and starts biting and pinching for seemly no reason, before I get annoyed for his “bad behaviour” I pause and think why he’s doing this.
Most times I realize he gets very cranky and throws a temper when he is hungry and tired or after a long day at school, not feeling fresh, or just wants to be alone.
So I bathe him, change his clothes and feed him and let him play. Immediately the mood changes. He becomes happy and in the best of behavior. Truly sometimes kids do not intend to throw a fit. They just find it hard to deal with their emotions.
For younger kids from age 1 plus, who are still developing their communication skills, and can’t talk so much they find it hard to express themselves so you can imagine how easily frustrated they can be when they want something and they don’t get it because you can’t figure out what they are saying.
For older toddlers, like age three to four. They can talk alright but with the new independence and responsibility, it can be challenging having to handle all the new emotions do things their self and not getting what they want and the easiest way out is by you having a blowout.
Though the root cause of temper tantrums is kids not having their way of getting what they want. It is greatly affected by other sub-factors like the child’s temperament.
Based on the child’s temperament he may likely determine how he displays tantrums. Children that are choleric or melancholic may be very emotional and show more outbursts.
Of course, other external factors like stress, tiredness, and boredom may stimulate a child’s tantrum too. Emotions of worry, fear, and shame also affect how a child displays tantrums.
How To Deal With Toddlers Tantrums
There is no one best way on how to deal with toddler tantrums. What works best is finding a combination of method and see what works with a child.
There are some times when you just need to ignore, sometimes you need to take immediate action, other times you need to be understanding and comforting to your child.
Before I start giving tips that could help on how to deal with toddlers tantrums, it is important to note first that it is not poor parenting when a child displays a tantrum.
I know it’s can be super embarrassing Your child has a meltdown in public it is just like the disgraced you. You do not have to feel bad though.
Tantrum is a completely normal experience in toddlers. Dealing with a tantrum is very essential and keeps you and your kids at peace. Here are 8 ways on how to deal with toddlers tantrums.
1. Do Not Resort To Yelling
When your child is throwing a temper tantrum and throwing fits, you may get irked up yourself and want to start yelling at the child. But do not give in.
You need to be more emotionally mature. If you start yelling, you are acting like a child. Try to keep your cool and be calm, if fake maybe a smile.
When you are calm, it is more likely that you address the situation better but when you are yelling at the child, the situation tends to escalate and you and your child end up in a worse mood.
2. Allow Your Child To Vent
Most times there is no point trying to explain or reasoning with a child having a meltdown. the best thing you can do is to let the child let steam out and become calm.
So, instead of trying to reason with the child one way on how to deal with toddlers tantrum is to let the child cry or vent even or even roll on the floor If he wants to.
Just ensure that you remove harmful objects around or scoop the child and take him to a calm place where he can vent. When he’s, done, you can decide to talk about what happened immediately or at a later time.
When your child is having a meltdown and you are giving him time to vent it is important to stay a bit close to the child so that he doesn’t do something harmful.
It is especially important for toddlers who try to hurt themselves or vent in public places. Taking them to a quiet place is the first best way on how to help a child having a meltdown and how to deal with toddlers tantrums in public places.
3. Do Not Ignore Aggressive Behaviors
Act up immediately when your toddler is posing aggressive behavior when he or she is having a meltdown. Sometimes kids can go all the way and become aggressive when they cannot get what they want.
You see reactions like fights, biting, cutting themselves with sharp objects. The best way on how to deal with the toddler tantrum and hitting is to act up immediately by putting your feet on the ground and make them stop.
You have to be bold and firm at this time. If they are with any sharp object, get it off their hands or get someone bigger to force it off their hands and take them to a place where they would not be exposed to anything harmful.
When they have calmed down, clearly and firmly let them know that hurting themselves to get attention is unacceptable and it would never get your attention.
You may need to input a disciplinary measure like cutting off privileges for a time.
It is always best to be in the right mood emotionally when your child is having a tantrum so you can address it the right way and always be close by.
4. Sometimes Ignore
Some tantrums are not worth talking about or stressing too much about. It is just a mild way for your kids wanting to get your attention. If a tantrum is minor you sometimes do not even need to say a word just ignore it.
After whining for a while, Your kid will notice you didn’t budge and accept it. That way you have saved Your breath. The kid knows you won’t budge so you do not have to reinstate it.
5. Be Consistent In Routines
Kids that are used to follow rules and patterns are likely to be less difficult. Why because they are used to the routines and it has been ingrained.
There is likely going to be much fussiness when your child is used to bedtime at 9:00 PM he may likely be sleeping at that time because his body is used to it.
Also, he would likely not make a fuss playing outdoor when he knows that he always plays on the beach on Saturdays.
So the point here is when you are consistent with routines, your kids become used to them and know what to expect and what not to expect so the chances of them refusing or defying rules will be reduced if you create a simple routine that is fun and be consistent with it.
6. Minimize Stress
We tend to get irritated and very emotional when we are stressed ae we end up reacting to everything we do.
While we get to learn to manage a bit as an adult for kids who have not learned how to master their emotions it is usually difficult for them hence tantrums.
You do not expect the kids who have had a long day at school to not be a bit cranky when he gets home or expects a child who has played all through outdoor to start being alert and ready for some house chores.
What they would want are food and rest. So one important way to deal with toddlers Tantrums is by minimizing stress for both you the parents and the kids.
This you do by planning activities beforehand, making your kids know what has to be done on time, and not overloading your schedule.
7. Do Not Always Give In To Kids Tantrums
Sometimes kids tantrums are reasonable and as an understanding parent it is wise to give in to the child’s demands.
But this should not always be the case. You need to be able to identify when to give in and when not to. If you notice your child always throws a fit for something that you think is not necessary do not succumb to it.
Because the child is using this behavior to get whatever he wants. Instead after the tantrum and when your child is calmer, tell him that reacting emotionally is not always the best and of course he will have to do what he was supposed to do. That way, he will learn how to manage his emotions better.
8. Let Bygone Be Bygone
You know how kids can be, throwing a fit this minute and the next minute, totally forgotten about the tantrum and already having fun.
But you as parents still remember how embarrassed you felt a few minutes ago when your child threw a fit at the shop. You will not know how to deal with toddlers tantrums if you keep the embarrassment of the tantrum and keep feeling bad.
You need to let go of the emotions right away. You may need to have a one on one with the kids it’s alright but you shouldn’t keep the emotions and use them against your kid’s over time. Make sure you are settled emotionally before you correct your kids.
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