Finding how to motivate your child is an essential trait that parents need in our present day to ensure that their kids are always motivated.
With the unending distractions we see everywhere today, it is easy for a child to get carried away by those things that do not truly matter.
Children, unlike adults, can get motivated and unmotivated quickly. For example, your toddler could be crying so much for a toy or something he wants you to get him.
Minutes after he gets it, he becomes uninterested in it and wants something else.
We see a lot of impatience in toddlers, emotional instability, over-excitement, indiscipline, etc. These are contributing factors that can unmotivate a child.
So today, rather than just giving tips on how to motivate a child, I will also provide information to make the child learn valuable traits that would help the child stay motivated as an individual.
Let’s start with an important question below.
How Do I Know What Motivates My Child?
This is an important question every parent who wants to know how to motivate a child must ask. First, to understand what motivates your child, you need to develop a close relationship with your child.
Then, he can open up freely to you, and you start learning about the child better. It would be best if you also were a critical observer. As the saying goes, “blink, and you miss it” applies very much to your child.
If you do not pay close attention or observe your kids closely, you wouldn’t know how to motivate the child because you wouldn’t know his likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc.
When you observe your child closely, you will see those things he is naturally drawn to. Use these things he loves to motivate him in other areas.
My son, for one thing, loves anything that would spark his curiosity. So I utilize this a lot to motivate him. When he is cranky or uninterested, I make funny faces, make a weird move, or go outdoor for a walk.
As a result, the once grumpy and unmotivated baby will become eager to see the world. You can also know what motivates your child by asking his peers or teachers.
They also spend quality time with your child, and your child will most likely be relaxed in their company. Ask casually, “What do you think Sean is so eager about”?
You will get valuable information on what motivates your child. Other ways you can know what motivates your child are through:
- Asking your child directly or indirectly
- Ask his role models (e.g., a coach)
- Giving him different tasks to see which he loves or dislikes.
How To Motivate Your Child In 11 Steps
If you’re wondering what you could do to be able to get your child to do the relevant tasks and not get so distracted easily, there are a couple of things that motivate children and spur them to action. Let’s take a look at some of them:
1. Be Interested
You may not know how to motivate your child if you do not even know where their interest lies, which may make you try to motivate them in the wrong way.
Hence, it would be best if you pay attention to those things that interest them to encourage your child. To do this, start by observing your kids.
You may feel that your kid is generally frustrated and unmotivated by many things, but if you look closely, you will find out that there is something that piques his interest.
Once you have observed them interests, get interested in them as well; show great enthusiasm. If your child loves soccer, be there when they have a big competition, and ask about their coach, teammates, and how they are developing their skills.
If their interest is music, attend the school concert, ask how well they are practicing and developing their skills, and tell them to sing for you. When your child sees that you are interested in what they enjoy, they will be more connected to you.
Your parent-child relationship would be strong, giving you an edge to motivate them and stimulate his interest in areas where you feel unmotivated. It is how to motivate an unmotivated child.
2. Be An Inspiration Rather Than A Controller
Granted youngsters will always act like they know it all, but in truth, it is just a façade. Children need someone who can genuinely inspire them rather than criticize them, and this is the role you should play as a parent if you want to motivate kids.
Using methods like giving deadlines, punishing, scolding even rewards and praise has some benefits while trying how to motivate a child.
Still, it has a measure of control which may not be beneficial if done all the time because rather than genuinely encouraging the child, you do all those to control your child’s behavior.
These techniques aren’t bad in themselves, but the better way to motivate kids is to motivate them intrinsically.
Intrinsic motivation makes the child do something because they love it, not necessarily because they are forced or bribed to do it.
To intrinsically motivate your child in any way, either at school, home, sports, etc., learn to inspire your child rather than control your child.
Let your child look up to you as someone they love and adore, and then you will find it easy to let them see the beauty of those things that they are unmotivated about.
So, if your child is unmotivated in school, you can inspire them by telling them how you know it can be difficult for them to grasp Math at this stage and that you, too, were faced with challenges when you were younger, but now you have overcome it and they too can.
It would make them feel more comfortable because they like that you understand where they are coming from. Next, research how to incorporate their schoolwork into those things they are interested in.
For example, while playing football, tell them to count the number of kicks per minute (you have introduced numbers and time), and if they don’t know how to do so, you can then teach them. This way, they learn while doing something they love.
Another way you can motivate your child is by doing activity-based learning. Often, celebrate even small successes, give constructive criticisms, give them clues to problem-solving, etc.
3. Be The Example
I am so much in love with this quote by John C. Maxwell, “A good leader knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way,” and it is very accurate. As a parent, you are a leader, and your kids watch you very closely.
So you want your child to be motivated at school, home chores, at sport, etc., with great desire, but are you one that is uninspired yourself?
Do you leave chores unfinished and go and watch TV and tell your kids to finish up when they are back? Do you always procrastinate doing house chores, going shopping, cleaning the home, and yet expect your kids not to miss assignments and refuse chores?
Do you yell and put up tantrums with your coworkers or boss when he gives you tasks? If yes, then do not expect your kids not to be unmotivated.
I am not here to judge anyone or throw my sticks and stones at you; instead, I want you to see the connection and see why when you display a lack of motivation, your kids will also do that.
I get it; as parents, we have busy schedules unending workloads, and sometimes it’s better to postpone the task at hand to another day or chill out in front of the TV to complete your chores later.
But if you want your kids to be motivated, you have to be their very first clear example that you, the parent, can be motivated even when you are unmotivated.
You can do this by setting up a flexible and not-too-packed schedule so you don’t get overwhelmed with work. It would be best if you also were consistent with your plans.
Check out the post on Mom’s morning routine here to draw an effective schedule and follow through with it consistently. So instead of accusing your kids, work on yourself first.
Let your kids see that mummy always finishes her chores before watching TV. Let them see how effectively you manage your emotions when work becomes overwhelming.
Let them know how you effectively strategize and plan effectively when you have a lot on your plate to handle. Let them know how you find a way around those things you are uninterested in.
You have to work at it, because if you aim to motivate your kids, you have to lead the example by being inspired yourself.
4. Set The Right Value System From An Early Age
This is one crucial tip on how to motivate a child that many parents miss.
Right from when your kids are tender, you should start setting up the value system in the home, and one should be teaching a child the importance of success by motivation.
This is called value induction, which explains the house’s values and equally imparts those values to your kids. So what are the value and belief systems in your home, or you haven’t even thought about one?
I encourage parents and would-be parents to always have a parenting plan before having a child, and even if you already have a child or children, it is not too late to start setting up a value system in your home.
Values like self-control, self-discipline, perseverance, and seeing failure as an opportunity to do better will give the right motivation to the child soon. Want to know how to keep a child motivated for a long time?
This tip is sure to work if done right. Once the child has learned the importance of reading, managing his emotions, tackling seemingly difficult situations, and not being overwhelmed, the child is quickly motivated.
You do not have to do too much work to encourage the child while he is older; you only have to keep teaching him how to become better and better motivated.
It also helps the child become motivated when you are not there and develop his belief system when he is older.
5. Help Your Kids Integrate And Internalize Things
Rather than dishing out rules, and consequences, setting goals deadlines (which aren’t bad in themselves), let your kid understand the reasons why they have to do something.
When your kids can understand the logic behind doing something, they can easily be motivated to do them (it is much easier than enforcing rules).
The truth is, not all activities will be enjoyable for kids, and sometimes you may not find a way to link those things to what your child is interested In.
What you have to do now is to make them see why it is essential for them to do it, and if they do not, there are natural consequences that follow.
Of course, kids may not believe you are first, but if it isn’t something so serious, you can let them face the consequences of their action, and then they will fully understand what you are saying and learn the lessons from it.
If, for example, you have tried encouraging your son to finish his art project on time, he isn’t motivated to do so. A night to submission, he hurriedly rushes to get the job done.
It is roughly done. He oversleeps because of the late-night and runs to class, forgetting the art project. When he comes, he feels terrible, do not scold him.
Instead let him know that this was what you were trying to teach him. This way, he internalizes the lesson and learns to be motivated, even when he doesn’t enjoy it.
6. Let Your Home Be A Learning Environment
Your child will be motivated by many things if your home centers on learning from every new thing he experiences. The school should not be the only learning place. Make your home one.
Make each experience in the house an avenue for the child to learn a lesson. I will make the child more open-minded and see that there is more to life than ice-creams, cupcakes, and toys.
From an early age, introduce your child to books. You could start with bedtime storybooks for kids for fun and exciting storybooks for your kids.
Make reading the storybook a bedtime ritual, then gradually introduce books of other fields that are age-appropriate.
There are great children’s books on Agriculture, Science, Arts, Music, Numbers, etc. magazines, newspapers, and comics should also be part of the list.
Do not just buy and give them the books, but be part of the reading. Join them to read and describe scenarios to develop their imaginations and curiosity.
Ensure that you interrelate whatever they learn as they go around every day. For example, while driving, you can casually tell your five-year-old to identify the vowels from the signboard of the mall you just passed.
As you expand their learning, they begin to see learning as more practical and will be motivated to learn anywhere and try new things because they have built their curiosity and want to know.
This tip is helpful on how to motivate your child to read and how to motivate your child to learn.
7. Spell Out Your Expectations To Your Kids
If your child does not know that he should be able to feed himself by five years old, he will keep asking you to feed him.
If he doesn’t learn to engage in chores from that age, he would see it as a burden when suddenly, you start setting rules that he must do tasks every day.
So, it is essential to spell out what your expectations are from them, else, they will do things when and how they want it, and if this trend continues, they will choose not to do some things if they are important to them.
Our kids are still maturing, and they did not come with a template for how life should be from birth. You are the parent. Since you have more insight, you should spell out what they should do and what not to do.
Spell out your expectations to your kids. Tell them you expect good grades from school and be disciplined, well-behaved, and respectful.
It will be ingrained into their subconscious. It doesn’t stop there. Also, teach them how to achieve what you expect from them. Your kids will not meet your expectations perfectly at first, but they will be good at it with time.
8. Provide Opportunities For Motivation
Surround your kids with people that have success, especially after failing in the past. It would stimulate him to do better at his studies, hobbies, home, etc.
You can also motivate your kid by introducing him to motivational books and movies to spark him up. Great books like:
1. Think Big By Ben Carson,
2. Gifted Hands by Ben Carson, Realads.
3. Courageous actions around the world by Garth Sundem
4. Dare to Be You: Defy self-doubt, Fearlessly follow your own path, and Be confidently you by Mathew Syed
5. Be Amazing: An inspiring Guide to Being Your Own Champion by Chris Hoy.
Also, introduce them to inspiring movies such as
1. Spirited Away.
2. Inside Out
3. Mukan
4. Finding Nemo
5. Back from the Brink.
9. Teach Them About Goal-Setting
Teaching your kid about the importance of goal-setting may be the best way to motivate your child to do schoolwork.
If your child does not work with a goal in mind, it may be easy for him to lose focus and be unmotivated in school work.
You both should review his activities, write them down in the list, then discuss how these everyday activities will be accomplished. Then, organize them in a schedule and set both long and short-term goals to achieve them.
For example, if your child is shy, write down activities that can help them avoid that, like learning good communication skills, going out more often, etc.
Then, each day of the week, you both should set goals and discuss how he worked towards achieving these goals.
10. Celebrate Accomplishments
When your child makes an effort, no matter how little, do well to celebrate that little effort, it is how to motivate a child. Give the child a high five, a cheer, throw him up and down, and make him know that you are proud of him.
Do this even if your child did not exceed your expectation; as long as he made some improvement, celebrate it and encourage him to do more. The child would be thrilled and eager to put more effort. This is the best motivation.
11. Be Positive
If your child is taking baby steps and not meeting your expectation, remain optimistic that things will be better as long as you keep doing your best to motivate him.
Your child may not match your drive and passion; it’s expected, do not give up. If you do, whatever measure of motivation the child had gained would be lost. If the child sees your loss of confidence in him, he will lose hope.
But if you remain positive, it will lighten the whole situation. I believe you have gained valuable insight on how to motivate a child. These tips can also work for you if you are unmotivated. Try them with your kids and see much improvement.
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