10 Ways To Build Relationship With Your Kids

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Like building a house, a relationship must start deep from the foundation before it can effectively stand. That is to say that establishing and building a good parent-child relationship starts first from what the parent does in childhood.

Today, there are so many estranged children. Having trouble with the law, society, and everyone. Mostly, they blame it on their parents. Most times, they never had an effective parent-child relationship. So one would ask, what is a healthy parent-child relationship.

In general, a healthy Parent-child relationship can be defined as a unique relationship between parents and child (biological or adopted). It is one with which the child and the parent have a unique understanding of each other and respect each other personalities.

Elements of this relationship are trust, respect, love, etc. It involves a lot when establishing a healthy parent-child relationship, discipline, setting boundaries, showing love, understanding each other, and hosting other things.

Every Parent-child relationship is unique, so what may be acceptable in one relationship may not be in another relationship. The relationship between a parent and a child will also differ for each sibling.

When you can effectively build a parent-child relationship, you can connect with your child very well. Hereis how to connect with a child emotionally.

A relationship with a child is not something too hard to figure out, for it is not rocket science. If you can do some things right, you’ll be able to connect very well with your child. The first step to connecting with any child is to find ways to establish and maintain close relationships.

You do this by first reaching out to the child. Ask: how is your day? How are you? Do you want to play or talk? Showing interest makes the child know that you want a relationship. If you’re in search of questions to ask your kids to get them talking and closer to you we have compiled 300 best fun questions to ask your kids to know them better feel free to check them out here

However, please don’t force it. When the child starts opening up, be ready to build the relationship. Listen when they talk, be consistent and genuine in keeping in touch. Be less critical and judgemental, correct in love.

Learn to respect the child’s space and his peculiarities. Once you can do all these, you can form a strong attachment emotionally connect with your child.


 How To Make Your Child Feel Loved?

 You may be doing all your best, putting on your best effort for your child, but not in the right way. As a result, the child does not seem to reciprocate, and it seems like the child does not feel loved. Here are five ways you can show love to a child:

  • Always listen. Do not be so carried away with life that you do not give your kids attention. When you are with them, be ready to listen. Share their excitement, ask them questions, answer their questions. It builds love and connection.
  • Be affectionate. Give hugs, kisses, tickles, pecks, high-fives, throw them in the air, and let them scream. They like these things and will love you more for doing them.
  • Involve them in whatever you are doing. Make your kids join in your cooking, laundry, or other chores, even if they will muddle things up. It gives them a sense of Joy that you want them to be involved in your life. Also, be ready to join in when they want you to play.
  • Do fun activities like games, sports, and other stuff together. You don’t have to be in a serious mood all the time.
  • Praise their efforts and achievements. Encourage them when they make mistakes. Celebrate their big wins and other special moments.


 How To Build A Strong Relationship With My Child

To build that parent-child relationship you have been aiming for, you need to be open to trade off some things in you, give your kids time, relearn, adapt. Here are ten tips that will help you build that strong parent-child relationship


1.  Build Trust

One of the many things that stifle the parent-child relationship is trust. Many kids do not trust their parents to understand things about them, so they hide them. Parents do not trust their children also. So, they are overly curious, probing, and insisting on knowing things by force when they didn’t build a relationship.

To foster a parent-child relationship with your kid, it is the parent’s job to build trust first. From an early age, when the child cries, how do you respond? Do you ignore or come around?

If your child makes a mistake, do you only criticize the child, or do you correct in anger or love? Are you a parent that is always absent and never even gives room for the child to come around you and share things with you? All these counts greatly for building an effective parent-child relationship and making the child trust you.

It would be best if you also were true to your words. Do not make promises that you don’t keep. When your kids see a consistent pattern of trust in you, they will be able to trust you too. Be also that one parent that is wise enough to give some space.

Make the kids establish their independence. Give them their needed privacy and respect it. Whatever the child has told you in confidence, keep it. Do not be the parents that are prone to exposing their children’s secrets.


2.  Communication

It is the basis of any healthy relationship, most importantly parent-child relationship. Being present in the child’s life is not enough. To build a lasting relationship, you need effective communication. Always make time to have one-on-one discussions with each of your children.

Find that one-on-one moment to relate individually. It is very necessary. You can do this by finding what each of your kids loves and be interested in it. It could be baking, cycling, even fishing.

While you engage in these activities with them, it creates a level playing ground for you to discuss things and share ideas. You would see with time that the children will start opening up to you and building a strong, lasting relationship.


3.  Show Love

There are different ways we show love, the commonest way being meeting our kid’s needs. But it is way more than that. At a young stage of a child’s life, he or she may not understand how you show love to him by meeting his needs.

What will be what holds more meaning if you are present to hold him when he cries, to listen to his tantrums or things that seem inconsequential? Are you goofy enough to play with him in the sand, being gentle and understanding? All these will translate to how strong the child can form a bond with you.


4.  Observe Family Rituals

Make it a custom that every member of the family come together to connect at a particular time.

It could be on birthdays, thanksgiving, or a special day picked and aimed to make it a quality time. Let there be fun activities, games, and we aim to connect and create a lasting family bond.

Each member of the family should catch up and connect as a whole. If this is done constantly, you create great memories for your child and create a close-knit family.


5.  Encourage Self-Expression

do not be that parent that is quick to hush down your child, like they do not know what they are doing. Instead, please encourage them to express themselves. You can correct when they do not communicate the right way.

A child needs to be free around you and build trust with you as a parent. When your child’s self-expression abilities develop, he can come to you at any time and trust you not to judge him.

He can also come around when he has issues and troubles with friends, and you will be very available to help out. Your child will also learn to say No, create boundaries, and not be a people pleaser.


6.  Set Boundaries

You should set limits so that your child does not abuse the parent-child relationship. Put rules that your child should follow.

Do not say yes to everything, do not also say no to all things. Make the child know that there is a structure that has to be followed and that rules are made to be kept, and for every rule that is not obeyed, their consequences.

Sometimes make the child earn things. Do not always give him things at ease. This way, the child has a balanced view of life.


7.  Connect With Your Kids

Try very hard to be involved in your kid’s world. It would be best if you made a conscious effort to bridge the gap. Let your children not see you as someone who is so far away from their world. One he would only meet when need something.

Learn about the peculiarities of a particular age range of children. Watch cartoons if you have to. Play chess, learn a bit about football so that you can connect and interact much more with your kids.

Please find out your kid’s friends and try to know more about them and their parents. Be involved, keep tabs on your kids’ favorite sport, and even drive them down there to cheer them.

Don’t miss anything about their life. It would be best if you also were goofy sometimes with your kids. Learn to make funny faces, say jokes, dress funny. It creates a connection with your kids and strengthens the relationship.


8.  Be Understanding.

Sometimes kids can grate your nerves with their behavior, but always have a big heart and be understanding.

If you are always thinking like an adult when relating with kids, it will draw you away from them because you will never connect. Your kids will be clumsy, make a mistake, get distracted, and want your attention every time.

What do you do when this becomes too much, and you want to scream, sometimes you need to shake your head, take a deep breath and remember that they are kids. Being too hard, expecting 100% perfection from them, will cause some friction.


9.  Be Available

There is nothing like being there when your kid needs you. Yes, work is hard. The economy is biting hard on everybody. The demand for living is high and strenuous, but still, you need to be there for your kids.

Sometimes it is hard to strike a balance between work and home. But you need to. It is critical for raising your child that parents should be present in their lives their kids. It would help if you did not spend your spare time on social media all the time. Lie on the ground with them.

Play wrestling with the boys, ask about their day or watch cartoons with them. Do not keep postponing their questions. Answer those pressing questions they have been asking. Create time for chats and one-on-one discussions.


10. Avoid Favoritism

Try as much as possible to be neutral and fair with all of your kids. Do not ever show favoritism with one or some of your kids. It goes a long way to hamper whatever relationship you are trying to build.

For those of your kids and make you proud, encouraged them, but do not make it overboard so that you do not make the other kids feel unloved and create a sense of entitlement mentality in the child that gets things to try to be fair and do not show favoritism.


 How Do I Connect With A Difficult Child?

 If you are a mom with a difficult child, you may find it hard to win that one child to your team, no matter how hard you try. So here are some ways you can go about it.

  • Be more patient and understanding with the child as it will take a while to win him. Do not get frustrated or give up after several trials. Keep on trying. One day the ice will break.
  • Be more open to listening to your child. Even if he rants and shouts, listen and try to pick out what he is saying.
  • Bridge the gap. Try to see if there is a gap real or imagined and bridge it. If you are too harsh or strict, that’s maybe the reason for the difficult behavior.
  • Offer a chance to talk and see where it leads.

This post is by no means all there is to build a relationship with your kids, but it is sure to steer you on the right track and change your motherhood game.


Save this for later mama!

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Author: Thriving Mum

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